I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize