we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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