HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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