Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.

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  (813): I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching. http://tfl.nu/tbhw
  Replies (30) Good night (927) Bad night (1728)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.

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  (403): you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/4rjg
  Replies (14) Good night (3812) Bad night (778)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day

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  (225): finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day http://tfl.nu/v7qa
  Replies (39) Good night (5681) Bad night (778)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.

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  (402): i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night. http://tfl.nu/91q5
  Replies (7) Good night (1014) Bad night (4876)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.

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  (910): I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive. http://tfl.nu/9t3w
  Replies (13) Good night (4540) Bad night (1113)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.

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  (231): We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result. http://tfl.nu/ddxt
  Replies (2) Good night (2347) Bad night (932)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.

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  (917): i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping. http://tfl.nu/d7ey
  Replies (8) Good night (982) Bad night (4346)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

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  (979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74
  Replies (5) Good night (2948) Bad night (941)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"

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  (404): This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome" http://tfl.nu/7ky1
  Replies (5) Good night (2862) Bad night (728)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.

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  (937): as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over. http://tfl.nu/xpv9
  Replies (22) Good night (1782) Bad night (2288)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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  (859): it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone? http://tfl.nu/jw1z
  Replies (7) Good night (883) Bad night (559)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.

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  (512): I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight. http://tfl.nu/hr3p
  Replies (0) Good night (1025) Bad night (545)
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  (619): View more from California

  I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?

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  (619): I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in? http://tfl.nu/31ig
  Replies (2) Good night (1265) Bad night (399)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.

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  (+61): He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it. http://tfl.nu/rrnk
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (350)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET

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  (203): YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET http://tfl.nu/hmex
  Replies (2) Good night (472) Bad night (388)

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