Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

did you get engaged???

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(330): View more from Ohio

So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud

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(602): View more from Arizona

I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.

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(510): View more from California

Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos

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(561): View more from Florida

Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch

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