you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today