I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma