Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band

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  (214): I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band http://tfl.nu/l50n
  Replies (11) Good night (616) Bad night (1408)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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  (719): I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel... http://tfl.nu/j6ej
  Replies (13) Good night (2564) Bad night (576)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.

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  (602): I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/z2qj
  Replies (28) Good night (4435) Bad night (615)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife

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  (386): I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife http://tfl.nu/xcgm
  Replies (37) Good night (3942) Bad night (1419)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  found the other keg... it's in the tree

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  (905): found the other keg... it's in the tree http://tfl.nu/nyfo
  Replies (15) Good night (8056) Bad night (640)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do

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  (203): But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do http://tfl.nu/ke2v
  Replies (19) Good night (4993) Bad night (1359)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.

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  (914): i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed. http://tfl.nu/dx0g
  Replies (29) Good night (562) Bad night (5883)
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  (516): View more from New York

  we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan

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  (516): we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan http://tfl.nu/uipi
  Replies (16) Good night (5650) Bad night (1001)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.

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  (850): HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF. http://tfl.nu/8qce
  Replies (12) Good night (1073) Bad night (2742)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...

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  (785): She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before... http://tfl.nu/n0in
  Replies (4) Good night (3401) Bad night (834)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.

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  (724): All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough. http://tfl.nu/tdyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1115) Bad night (1734)
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  (818): View more from California

  He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing

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  (818): He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing http://tfl.nu/62aj
  Replies (5) Good night (1191) Bad night (426)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.

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  (408): I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples. http://tfl.nu/z6gq
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (837)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

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  (508): He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush http://tfl.nu/vzo2
  Replies (0) Good night (353) Bad night (199)
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  (714): View more from California

  I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.

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  (714): I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented. http://tfl.nu/mdds
  Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (248)

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