how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and she was petting her beer can
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
