if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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