okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
