So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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