True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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