i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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