I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
