This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I touched a dick in church today
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize