Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
