and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
