New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
