you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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