Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
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I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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