ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
