found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
