You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
