But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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