it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
