I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
