This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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