eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
