You made me cry and you don't even care
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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