brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
