You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
