can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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