I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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