we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
