Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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