his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
