The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
