chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
