Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
