I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize