winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize