When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize