Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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