You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
