Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize