can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth