you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
