Sacagawea was the original milf.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
