i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
