no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
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Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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