Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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