Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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