PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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