you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
