Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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