Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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