and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
