Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
we're so committed to being not committed
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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