You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
