Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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