Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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